Star Wars Episode 2: Attack of the Look-Alikes
by MBLAST
Summary: The galaxy is in turmoil (again), and Senator Amidala is returning to Coruscant to vote on the creation of a ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC, and another parody has been written! Help us all! This is the 2nd episode in my Star Wars parody series. Please R&R!


Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Look Alikes  
  
I DO NOT OWN STAR WARS OR ANY OF THE CHARACTORS, WEAPONS, SHIPS, ETC!  
  
The galaxy is in a state of turmoil... (Again) Led by a renegade Jedi called Count Dooku-Pooku-Tooku-Shooku. (Sorry, couldn't help myself) Meanwhile, senator Amidala returns to Coruscant to vote on the creation of an ARMY OF THE REPUBLIC  
  
A starship silver plated starship flies into view, escorted by two yellow fighters, it lands on the planet, and the pilots from the fighters get out to greet the senator emerging from the silver starship...  
  
Captain of Security: Well, I guess there was no need for alarm after all!  
  
Masked Pilot: Mppgghhhhpphhhh! Urrgggghhh! Gurrppphhh!  
  
Captain: Maybe you should take off that mask...  
  
Someone from the party coming down the silver starships landing platform farts, and the spaceship explodes...  
  
All: Ouchie!  
  
One of the fighter pilots runs over to the senator...  
  
Amidala: My-my lady! I have failed you! I had b-b-beans...  
  
The fighter pilot takes off her helmet to reveal, she is the senator...  
  
Bum-bum-BA-DAAAAAA!  
  
Amidala: Yes, you failed me miserably. You know beans give you gas.  
  
Decoy: *GAAAACCCCCKKKK!!*  
  
Captain: My lady, we should go before someone farts again!  
  
Amidala: Yes, captain  
  
In a republic meeting room, the jedi council discusses the incident with chancellor Palpatine...  
  
Palpatine: *Sarcastically* I'm SOOOOOO sorry to hear about your loss  
  
All: *Sarcastically* Thank you Chancellor, you are SOOOOOO kind  
  
Palpatine: *GASP* They're on to me!  
  
Yoda: So sorry to hear your loss, it is senator  
  
Senator: Thank you, you freaky little green thing  
  
Yoda: .........  
  
Palpatine: I think the senator needs some more protection, perhaps some jedi?  
  
Yoda: Bad idea  
  
Mace Windu: I think its a good idea  
  
Yoda: Bad  
  
Mace: Good  
  
Yoda: Bad  
  
Mace: Good  
  
Yoda: Bad  
  
Mace: Good  
  
Yoda: Bad  
  
Mace: Good Yoda: Good  
  
Mace: Bad  
  
Yoda: Ah-ha! Fooled you, I did!  
  
Mace: Oh yeah? Well... I... I have a purple lightsaber! So there!  
  
Yoda: Hmph!  
  
Palpatine: I think you should assign Master Obi-Wan Kenobi to her  
  
Yoda: Well, all right it is I guess.... My reluctant approval you have!  
  
Palpatine: Good, now I must attend to my evil- I mean, my charity fund!  
  
Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan are riding an elevator up to the Senators room...  
  
Obi: You seem nervous...  
  
Anakin: I haven't seen her in ten years!  
  
Obi: You're sweating...  
  
Anakin: This elevator is too hot! I fact, I think- *Collapses*  
  
Obi: Anakin, get up!  
  
Anakin: ......  
  
Obi: (This isn't going to look good on my report!)  
  
The elevator opens, and they both step out to be greeted by Jar-Jar...  
  
Jar: Oh, helloe-  
  
Obi: JAR-JAR? NOOOOOOOOOO!!!  
  
Jar: -again obi! Mesa back!  
  
Anakin: ....... *Still passed out*  
  
Jar: Whatsa, is wrong with Annie?  
  
Obi: Errrr... Too much Juri-juice?  
  
Jar: Ohhhhhh!  
  
Anakin is revived a minute later, and they walk into the senators room...  
  
Amidala: Annie? Is that you?  
  
Anakin: Why does everybody insist in calling my Annie? It makes me sooooo mad! I think I might chop someone's head off!  
  
Amidala: Lets all have a seat  
  
Obi: We will be invisible my lady, you won't know we're here  
  
Amidala: Looks like you have failed that task already!  
  
Obi: ........  
  
Senator: The captain has posted guards by the front.  
  
Obi: I'll go check that out. Anakin, you stay with the senator.  
  
Obi and the Captain leave...  
  
Anakin: You are soooo beautiful Padme!  
  
Amidala: ......  
  
Anakin: You make my heart sing!  
  
Amidala: ......  
  
Anakin: I would work in the space mines of Kessel for you!  
  
Amidala: ......  
  
Anakin: I would give my life for you!  
  
Amidala: I'm sorry Annie... We're you saying something? I wasn't paying attention.  
  
Anakin: ....... *Goes in corner and sobs*  
  
Later that night, Obi and Anakin are talking outside Amidala's room...  
  
Obi: Well, the captain has everything covered out front, no one will try to get in there...  
  
Anakin: She covered up all the security cameras, I don't think she liked me watching her. *Grins stupidly*  
  
Obi: I can see her point...  
  
Anakin: She programmed R2 to alert her to any danger.  
  
Obi: *Concentrates very hard* Your using her as bait, aren't you?  
  
Anakin: It was her idea!  
  
Obi: Sure it was...  
  
Anakin: It was! I promise!  
  
Obi: I don't believe you! You're going to get a spanking!  
  
Anakin: NOOOOOOO!!!! *Screams like a girl*  
  
On the top of a roof in Coruscant, Jango Fett, and a changeling disguised as a woman comverse...  
  
Jango: What was that? It sounded like someone screaming... Anyway, take these worms, but be careful. They are very ugly.  
  
Change: Thank you. Please come again.  
  
Jango: Listen, I know you worked in McBanthas for a long time, but can you at least TRY to forget all that stuff they taught you?  
  
Change: Would you like that with Bantha Nuggets and a small Blue Milk?  
  
Jango: .......  
  
The changeling puts the ugly worms in a tube, and puts them in a droid...  
  
The droid flies off, and soon reaches Amidala's room... It cuts through the forcefield, and drops the worms in the room...  
  
Meanwhile, in the room beside it...  
  
Anakin: *Crying* You're the meanest master ever! I'm going to chop your head off someday!  
  
Obi: Right, my very young and immature apprentice  
  
Anakin: Wait, I sense something in the other room!  
  
Obi: Ohhh, its ugly!  
  
Anakin: We must save Amidala! *Runs to the room war whooping*  
  
Anakin and Obi rush in the room...  
  
Amidala: AHHHH! Get out of here you freaks!  
  
Obi: We must have sensed her wardrobe...  
  
Anakin: No! Look! On the floor!  
  
All: UGLY!  
  
Anakin: Hi-ya! *Chops them in half, and then strikes a karate pose*  
  
Obi: Look! I think that droid out the window wants to play tag! *Smashes through window and grabs the changeling's droid*  
  
Anakin: Not again!  
  
Amidala: ........  
  
Anakin rushes out and steals a speeder from someone, and chases after Obi in it.  
  
Anakin: Come on master, don't look down! Please!  
  
Obi: *Looks down* OH, SHOOT! I WANT MY MOMMY! *Starts Crying*  
  
The changeling shoots the droid out from Obi as it returns to him, and he falls into the speeder. The changeling then hops into his own speeder, and flies off...  
  
Obi: Anakin! Follow that speeder! The one with the "I Don't Brake For Jedi" sticker on it!  
  
Anakin: Yes, master. But first, let me fly around buildings to show off my skills at flying  
  
Flys around for a bit...  
  
Anakin: Ok, now lets chase hi- where did he go?  
  
Obi: Oh thats just great! You lost him!  
  
Anakin: No, wait! There he is! He's just coming out of Tauntaun King!  
  
They chase the changeling around for a couple of days, until they loose him again...  
  
Anakin: Well, this just stinks...  
  
Obi: Lets keep a lookout for him on top of that building! *Points to it, and knocks Anakin out of the speeder:  
  
Obi: Whoops...  
  
Anakin, lands on the changling's speeder, and starts cutting into it with his lightsaber. The changeling accidentally shoot the ship, and it crashes outside a bar, and the changeling and the jedi hurry in...  
  
Obi: I'm going to get a drink!  
  
Anakin: Remember, only a few. I don't want to take you to the toilet every ten seconds like I did last time!  
  
Obi: Keep your eyes peeled...  
  
Anakin: *Gets out potato peeler*  
  
Obi: ........ *Walks up to counter* Gimme a Juri Juice!  
  
Bartender: Hey, you're the guy who wet the seat last time!  
  
Obi: *Waves hand* No, that guy over there did it.  
  
Bartender: That guy over there did it. *Walks over to "The Other Guy" and starts punching him*  
  
Guy next to Obi: Hey, you wanna death stick?  
  
Obi: (I shouldn't take a death stick! Anakin says I went bananas last time I had one!) Sure!  
  
Anakin: I feel a disturbance in the force... A DEATH STICK! *Charges at Obi with his lightsaber drawn*  
  
Anakin accidentally chops off the arm of the changeling as he struggles to grab the stick from Obi, and they drag him outside...  
  
Changeling: M-m-  
  
Obi: Who hired you?  
  
Changleing: May I take your order?  
  
Anakin: Let me try master... I WANT A CHEESEBURGER WITH NO CHEESE!  
  
Changling: NOOOOO!!!! Ok! I'll talk! A bounty hunter named- *Is killed by a poison dart* GACCCCCKKKKKKK!  
  
Anakin: Well... Lets go back... Throw his body in that dumpster over there...  
  
Obi: Wait, where did my death stick go?  
  
The jedi counsel has a boring discussion about the bounty hunter...  
  
Yoda: Crack down on this bounty hunter, you will!  
  
Obi: Yes, master!  
  
Mace: Go and search for this bounty hunter, assign Anakin as a bodyguard to the Senator.  
  
Obi: But-but-master-  
  
Yoda: Buts about it, there will be not! Now go, you will!  
  
Obi: But, master Yo-  
  
Yoda: SHUT UP AND GO! ..... ..... Uh, You will...  
  
Obi goes to the jedi library to look up the poison dart that killed the changeling...  
  
Database Droid: Illegal error, shutting down...  
  
Obi: Hmmmm... Windows 9042834.3453452 is not working right, I had better upgrade it...  
  
Droid: Restarted... No information found about the scanned object...  
  
Obi: What?  
  
Droid: Are you deaf?  
  
Obi: Errrr... I thought all droids were supposed to be polite!  
  
Droid: Standard programming permits that to anyone except persons named "Obi-Wan-Kenobi"  
  
Obi: You hurt my feelings! *Cries as he slices droid in half*  
  
Obi decides to go see a "friend" about the dart...  
  
Friend of Obi: OBI! How are ya doing?  
  
Obi: Good old friend! Say, you might want to pull those up...  
  
Friend: *Hikes up pants* What can I do for ya?  
  
Obi: What is this?  
  
Friend: This? Ohhhhh! Thats a pimple cream dart! Very poisonous!  
  
This belongs to the cloners of Kameeno!  
  
Obi: Thank you my friend. Anything I can do for you?  
  
Friend: I could use a belt.  
  
Obi goes and confronts Yoda about the new information... Yoda is teaching a bunch of 6 year old kids on the usage of lightsabers...  
  
Yoda: No, no! Cut off his head, you must not do!  
  
Obi: Master, I have been a good boy all week...  
  
Yoda: What about the bed wetting incident?  
  
Children: *Snicker*  
  
Obi: Master, not in public!  
  
Yoda: He-he-he! Anyway, what is your request?  
  
Obi: Can I go to Kameeno? Please? *Start jumping up and down* Pretty please with whip cream in top?  
  
Children: *Snicker*  
  
Yoda: Very well... Go, you may...  
  
Obi: Yay! Bye-bye! *Turns around and leaves*  
  
Yoda: Children, role model, he must not be.  
  
Boy: But I like him!  
  
Yoda: Childish is he, role model he will not be!  
  
Boy: Wahhhhh! I'm telling my mommy!  
  
Obi rushes off to Kameeno, and Anakin prepares to leave for Naboo with Amidala to hide her from any pimple cream dart attempts...  
  
Obi: Bye Annie! *Crying*  
  
Anakin: Bye Obi! *Crying*  
  
Amidala: He-he! Those onions that I hid in Anakin's robe make him look like a baby! But I didn't put any on Obi's robe, so that must mean.... *GASP*  
  
Captain: You take care of her Annie!  
  
Anakin: Don't worry, I will!  
  
Captain: Good boy!  
  
Amidala's Friend: Be careful, she just might run away if you aren't looking!  
  
Anakin: I'll take care of her...  
  
Captain: Do you know about her special needs?  
  
Friend: *Hands him pill bottle* Give her one of these if she seems to be out of control, it will calm her down in no time!  
  
Anakin: *Shudder*  
  
Obi arrives on Kameeno... As he walks in, an alien walks up to him, supermodel style, with disco lights flashing and music playing...  
  
Obi: Ummmm...  
  
Alien: Come this way please, the Prime Minister is expecting you...  
  
Obi: He is? Wow! I feel like I have been noticed for the first time in my life! *Starts crying*  
  
They walk to a room where the Prime Minister is waiting...  
  
Prime: Your clone army is about half way done...  
  
Obi: Huh?  
  
Prime: Your clone army is about half way done...  
  
Obi: Huh?  
  
Prime: Your clone army is about half way done...  
  
Obi: Huh?  
  
Prime: Your clone army is about half way done...  
  
Obi: Huh?  
  
Prime: Your clone army is about half way done...  
  
Obi: Huh?  
  
Prime: Your clone army is about half way done...  
  
Obi: *Catching on* Oh... um, uh... Yes, thank you.  
  
Prime: Tell master Sideous that he should be very proud of the army!  
  
Obi: Yes, um, uh...  
  
Prime: Would you like to see the bounty hunter who gave his DNA to be cloned?  
  
Obi: Um, uh, yes...  
  
Moves off supermodel style, as disco lights flash and music plays...  
  
Prime: This is the bounty hunter Jango Fett  
  
Obi: Well... I see you are a fan of the Sarlacc Club too!  
  
Jango: Yes, yes I am!  
  
Boba Fett, Jangos personal clone: Papa? Who are they?'  
  
Obi: I am a jedi knight, under orders to track down a bounty hunter who tried to kill Senator Amidala.  
  
Jango: Nootoo, a gogblaga Boba!  
  
Obi: .......  
  
Prime: .......  
  
Boba: *Closes a door hiding Jango's armor*  
  
Jango: It was nice meeting you! *Glares at him*  
  
Obi: Is this a hint?  
  
Obi receives orders through a Hologram of the Jedi Counsel that he should try to capture Jango Fett...  
  
Obi rushes onto Jangos landing platform just as he is putting on his armor, and about to take off...  
  
Obi: Ke-la-la-la-la! *Xena music plays as Obi flips toward Fett, and the two fight*  
  
Obi: *Swings lightsaber*  
  
Fett: *Fires some neat little item on his armor*  
  
Obi: *Swings lightsaber*  
  
Fett: * Fires some neat little item on his armor *  
  
Obi: *Swings lightsaber*  
  
Fett: * Fires some neat little item on his armor *  
  
Obi: *Swings lightsaber*  
  
Fett: * Fires some neat little item on his armor *  
  
Obi: *Swings lightsaber*  
  
Fett: * Fires some neat little item on his armor *  
  
Obi: *Swings lightsaber*  
  
Fett: * Fires some neat little item on his armor *  
  
Obi: *Swings lightsaber*  
  
Fett: *Runs into ship and takes off*  
  
Obi: *Throws tracking device at Jango's ship, and misses* Shoot! Maybe I can guess where he is going...  
  
Climbs into ship, and blasts off for some random planet...  
  
Meanwhile, on Naboo...  
  
Amidala: You are soooooo grown up Annie!  
  
Anakin: I LOVE YOU!  
  
Amidala: You are not the same little boy I once knew!  
  
Anakin: YOU MAKE MY HEART LEAP FOR JOY!  
  
Amidala: Look at you, a jedi!  
  
Anakin: KISS ME!  
  
Amidala: I'm sorry, did you say anything? I wasn't listening...  
  
Anakin: *SOB*  
  
Meanwhile, Jango follows Obi's ship, and tries to destroy it...  
  
Jango: Eject toilet waste storage tank!  
  
Boba: That'll get him!  
  
Obi: AUUUUGGGHHHH!!!  
  
The toilet tank explodes and green goo splats on the ships shields, and almost destroys the ship...  
  
Obi: SICK! ITS ALL OVER THE WINDSHIELD!  
  
Jango: That should have gotten him, lets go down to the planets surface.  
  
Boba: Heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh- heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh! We got him daddy!  
  
Jango: You are very evil. Just like your father.  
  
Obi follows Jango's ship, and sneaks around the tunnels of a stone castle that Jango goes into...  
  
Count Dooko walks in a tunnel with several other non- important aliens...  
  
Count: Will you join me? Na-ha-ha!  
  
Aliens: *Gibbberish*  
  
Count: Good! Na-ha-ha! *Thunder & lightning*  
  
Obi: I must contact the jedi counsel, I think I'm too far from Coruscant, but Anakin could relay the message for me! Yah!  
  
Meanwhile, Anakin gets a dream about his mother dying... He flies off to Tatoonine, to rescue her... He goes and finds Watto, her former owner...  
  
Anakin: Wazzup Watto?  
  
Watto: AUUUGGGHHHHHH!!!  
  
Anakin: Where is my mother?  
  
Watto: I sold her! She couldn't do anything except cook!  
  
Anakin: Who did you sell her to?  
  
Watto: A guy named Own Lars!  
  
Anakin: Sounds like a candy bar...  
  
Amidala: That reminds me Annie... When are we going to eat? You promised we would eat soon! *Throws a fit*  
  
Anakin drives out to the Lars farm...  
  
Anakin: Where is my mother?  
  
Lars People: The sand people took her! We sent out about 50 million people to get her, but only a few returned!  
  
Anakin: I'll go get her!  
  
Anakin flies off in a speeder to rescue her, and finds her dead when he gets there... Wetting his pants, and letting out a cry of fury, he slices the Sand People to pieces with his new Slice n' Dice machine... He takes her back to the farm, and buries her...  
  
Anakin: She was so special to me... I remember when we would watch the Bantha holo network together, and we would sing all the songs on Barney, the talking wamp rat... I still remember one now... I LOVE YOU! YOU LOVE ME! WE-  
  
All: *Start ripping their ears off*  
  
C-3PO: Master Annie!  
  
Anakin: 3PO! I forgot that you came with my mother!  
  
3PO: You have mail!  
  
Anakin: It looks like a message from Obi! We need to go help him!  
  
Amidala: That was my line! *Gets into a slappy fight*  
  
Anakin & Amidala fly off to help Obi, and forward his message to the Jedi Counsel, who decide to bring all the jedi to defeat Count Dooko... Meanwhile, Anakin, 3PO, R2-D2, and Amidala go into the factory section of the big stone fortress...  
  
Anakin: *Rushes into stone fortess*  
  
3PO: Help! *Head gets switched with a battle droid's*  
  
R2: *Starts flying*  
  
Anakin: He can fly!  
  
Amidala: He can fly!  
  
3PO: *Singing Peter Pan song* He can fly, he can fly, he can fly, he can fly, he can flyyyyyyyyyyy!  
  
R2: It was just a little pixie dust!  
  
Anakin slashes up a bunch of stuff, and then gets captured along with everybody else... They are brought out to an arena and tied to a post, along with a captured Obi...  
  
Obi: I finally get mentioned again in this parody...  
  
Amidala: Don't worry, I have a lock pick...  
  
Amidala frees everyone, and strangely, nobody seems to care... The natives bring out three monsters...  
  
All: *Jar-Jar voice* OH-NO! MONSTERS! AGBUNDHG! (Actual Jar- Jar quote)  
  
The monster all fall asleep, and Count Dooko sends out some droids to kill the prisoners... Just then, hundreds of jedi ignite their lightsabers all around the arena...  
  
Mace: Its over, Count!  
  
Count: Its not over yet! Na-ha-ha! *Lighting & thunder*  
  
The jedi a overwhelmed by the droids, just as it looks like they are about to be shot, Yoda with the clone army flies over with troop transports, and begin picking up the jedi... Count Dooko slips onto a speeder and flies away...  
  
Obi: Look! Theirs the Count! After him!  
  
Anakin: Warp 9!  
  
Obi: Engage!  
  
Clone: Shut up! I'm flying this thing!  
  
Anain: Make it so!  
  
Clone: SHUT UP!  
  
They chase after the speeder, and Obi & Anakin jump down from the transport into a cave that the speeder rides into...  
  
Obi: Count, we meet again...  
  
Count: You will be defeated! Na-ha-ha! *Lightning & thunder*  
  
Anakin: I can take him! *Gets zapped by Dooku's lightning fingers* Ouchie!  
  
Obi: I will fight you!  
  
Obi: *Slash*  
  
Count *Slash* (Na-ha-ha!)  
  
Obi: *Slash*  
  
Count *Slash* (Na-ha-ha!)  
  
Obi: *Slash*  
  
Count *Slash* (Na-ha-ha!)  
  
Obi: *Slash*  
  
Count *Slash* (Na-ha-ha!)  
  
Obi: *Slash*  
  
Count *Slash* (Na-ha-ha!)  
  
Obi: *Slash*  
  
Count *Slash* (Na-ha-ha!)  
  
Obi: *Slash*  
  
Count *Slash* (Na-ha-ha!)  
  
Obi: Ouchie!  
  
Count: Now it is your turn to die Anakin! Na-ha-ha! *Thunder & lighting*  
  
Obi: Well, I'm not really dead, you just cut my arm...  
  
Count: Whatever! Na-ha-ha! *Thunder & lighting*  
  
Anakin: *Slash*  
  
Count *Slash* (Na-ha-ha!)  
  
Anakin: *Slash*  
  
Count *Slash* (Na-ha-ha!)  
  
Anakin: *Slash*  
  
Count *Slash* (Na-ha-ha!)  
  
Anakin: *Slash*  
  
Count *Slash* (Na-ha-ha!)  
  
Anakin: Ouchie! He cut my arm off!  
  
Count: *Raises lightsaber to kill both of them*  
  
Yoda: *Wobbles in behind him* Not so fast, Count!  
  
Count: We meet again! Na-ha-ha *Thunder & lightning*  
  
Yoda: *Strikes Matrix pose* Defeated, you will be! *Grabs lightsaber and jumps toward the Count*  
  
Yoda: *Spin & Slash*  
  
Count: Wow! *Slash*  
  
Yoda: *Spin & Slash*  
  
Count: Wow! *Slash*  
  
Yoda: *Spin & Slash*  
  
Count: Wow! *Slash*  
  
Yoda: *Spin & Slash*  
  
Count: Wow! *Slash*  
  
Yoda: *Spin & Slash*  
  
Count: Wow! *Slash*  
  
Yoda: *Spin & Slash*  
  
Count: Enough! *Walks into his ship*  
  
Yoda: I will let you go! Important to the plot advancement, you are!  
  
The ship flies away to Coruscant, where Jar-Jar is just now voting to give Palpatine emergency powers over the entire Republic... The ship lands in a hanger, and the Count gets out, and begins walking with a cloaked figure...  
  
Cloak: You have done well, Count!  
  
Count: Thank you master! Na-ha-ha! *Thunder & lightning*  
  
It ends with a scene of early star destroyers launching with Palpatine looking on, Amidala, finally listening to Anakin, get married... What horrors of the parody world await our hero's in the next episode? Only time will tell...  
  
Palpatine: Ahhhhh! I truly am an evil old fart!  
  
George Lucas: Hey, whats going on here? What are you doing with the camera? We aren't fliming today!  
  
All: We just thought we would have a little fun, thats alll!  
  
George: Fools! You taped this over the movie!  
  
Ewan: Really? Darn... Wait, what does this button do?  
  
George: FOOL! You just sent the film you recorded to the publishing studios!  
  
Ewan: Opps...  
  
END 


End file.
